


Masturmate

by CaremKefo



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Alternate Universe, Doctor/Patient, M/M, Masturbation, Medical Procedures, Mentions of Cancer, Mutual Masturbation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-07
Updated: 2019-03-07
Packaged: 2019-11-13 12:54:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18032126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaremKefo/pseuds/CaremKefo
Summary: When Dr Carson Beckett jerks off with a stranger online, he notices there's something not quite right with his companion.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know how I came up with the idea for the fictional website in this fic, but once I came up with its tagline I found it _hilarious_ and the idea wouldn't leave me alone. This fic is the result. But of course, me being me, what sounded like an idea for a plotless porn fic needed to have some sort of plot.
> 
> Unbeta'd.

_'Why masturbate alone when you could find your masturmate?'_ the ad across the top of the screen asked.

Carson Beckett frowned. He had an adblocker installed, so he shouldn't be seeing any ads. He just wanted to browse for porn in peace without being offered any fake medication that falsely claimed to be able to increase the size of his penis, damn it! Not that he _needed_ anything like that, anyway. Nevertheless, he found himself intrigued by the term 'masturmate' and, against his better judgement, he clicked on the obtrusive ad.

A new window opened up, and he read the blurb on the site. _'Are you feeling lonely? Are you too busy to find a sexual partner? Are you bad with people? Join Masturmate today, where hundreds of other lonely people are waiting for **you**!'_ Carson scoffed, but nevertheless kept reading. _'All you need is a webcam to join in the fun!* *Microphone optional. For $10 a month, you can have complete access to Masturmate, and you will never be lonely again! Try Masturmate for **free** , today!'_

Ten dollars to jack off on a webcam with other people. Carson shuddered at the thought of some random stranger in some unknown location seeing him naked. However... Being able to _talk_ to someone? To talk someone _else_ through their release? His cock hardened at the thought and, before he could change his mind, he entered his credit card details and registered for a free trial.

 _Och, I hope it's nae a scam_ , he thought to himself belatedly.

His cursor hovered between the male and female options in the 'looking for' bar, before settling on the male option. The site offered a preview of his webcam, and he lowered it to remove his face from view as the site sought a match.

The first match he made was wearing a cock cage. Carson declined faster than he could apologise. The second match was a decent looking man, from what Carson could see of him. Like himself, the man had angled the webcam away from his face. He had a decent body - broad shoulders, and a not-quite-flat stomach. Carson stroked a hand across his own stomach that hadn't been flat in years. He appreciated that same softness in others, because a little padding was nice when you cuddled. Like his own cock, hard between his legs as he stroked it, the man's cock was uncut.

Carson cleared his throat. He may have been born in Scotland, and sound Scottish - courtesy of his parents' strong accents - but he'd grown up in the USA and could adopt an American accent easily enough. And, because he was paranoid about being identified, he slipped into that accent now.

"God, I want to put my hands on you."

"You— Really?" the other man stuttered, sounding shocked.

"Don't sound so surprised," Carson smiled.

"I suppose I'm just used to people declining me," the man said matter-of-factly, but there was a touch of sadness in his voice.

 _Now why would they dae that?_ Carson wondered.

"I know I'm not porn star levels of attractive, but I'm not _ugly_ ," he blustered. "People are weird."

Carson chuckled. "They are that. I mean, who comes up with the idea of masturbating with a complete stranger online?"

"Someone who's lonely? Busy? Bad with people?" the man suggested.

"Did you memorise the advertising?" Carson laughed.

The man said nothing, slowly stroking his cock as he - presumably - watched Carson do the same.

Carson licked his lips as he imaging touching the man who could live next door or on the other side of the world. "You could touch your nipples," he suggested huskily. "If that's something that you... I mean, don't feel like you can't on my account." His face flushed as he stumbled over his words. He'd never been very good at dirty talk, or asking for what he wanted.

"Would you put your hands on me like this?" He palmed a hand over his chest, thumbing at one nipple.

Carson bucked up into his fist.

"Yeah, just like that," the man agrees, and Carson can hear the smugness in his tone.

"Is there something I can call you?" Carson blurted out.

"Oh, I, uh... Rod— Rod, I guess. You could call me Rod. And you?"

Carson hesitated. "You can call me Scott," he settles for.

"That's not your real name, is it?" Rod guessed.

"No."

"This isn't how these things usually go. It's a mutual masturbation site, not a chat room."

"I don't know about your relationships, but I like to _talk_ to my partners. If I didn't want to talk to someone, I'd just watch porn."

"Fair point." They fell into a not uncomfortable silence as the flow of conversation ended, until Rod asked, "Could you, uh, maybe spread your legs a bit more? Would you mind?"

Carson blushed, having forgotten for a moment that Rod could see him, too. He adjusted himself on the bed to get more comfortable, and spread his legs a little wider. "Better?"

"Much. You have a lovely dick," Rod told him appreciatively. "If I was there with you I'd put my mouth on it."

Carson whined. _God, yes!_

Rod seemed emboldened, and kept talking. "Suck you off, nice and slow. Make you beg me to let you come. Might even stick a finger in you, if you'd let me. Would you like that? Coming with my finger up your ass?"

"Hold that thought," Carson tells him, rolling over and rummaging in his bedside drawer.

"Fuck! That ass," Rod exclaimed longingly.

"You wish," Carson chuckled.

"I really do..."

Carson reappeared with a slender dildo and some lube, which he coated generously on the blue silicone.

"Oh, this is like my own interactive porn show," Rod breathed.

"Is this not how things usually go?" Carson asked, wondering when he'd become such an exhibitionist.

"Not for me," Rod admitted. "I've been declined a few times, and I tend not to talk unless the other person talks first. I don't know what to say, and I know I'm generally an annoying person. Silent masturmation is surprisingly awkward, though."

"So, bad with people, then?" Carson asked, guessing why Rod was on the site. Even as he spoke, he was pressing the dildo inside him. It was only about two fingers wide, and after the initial stretch his ass welcomed it easily enough. Rod hadn't answered, so Carson assured him, "Well, you're not annoying me."

"Not yet, anyway."

"Rod, I'm going to come pretending I've got your fingers up my ass - trust me, I don't find you the least bit annoying."

"Well, you're probably just lonely, and being lonely makes you desperate. Or are you too busy? Because you've certainly got a way with people."

"I have to, in my line of work. And you're right, I _am_ lonely. But I'm not desperate enough to go out and have a casual hook-up. I prefer a real relationship."

"Well, I hate to tell you this, but this isn't a dating site."

Carson chuckled. "I was curious." He spread his legs even wider as he fucked himself with the dildo, trying to make sure Rod had a good view.

"Fuck..." Rod's hand moved from his dick to his balls, gently rolling them as his other hand moved back to his nipples. "Is this okay?" he asked, arching off the bed into his own touch. "Or do you want me to do something more?"

"That's just beautiful," Carson assured him.

"Slow down," Rod told him. "If I was there, I'd go slow. I'd enjoy all of you while I had you."

"Oh, God..." Carson's own hand slid up to his nipples as he teased himself, his cock leaking across his stomach.

"I wish I was there with you," Rod breathed.

"I wish you were here with me, too. Want to feel you inside me, Rod. Want to touch you."

"Touch yourself. Imagine it's me touching you."

"So close," Carson breathed as he pumped his cock.

"Come for me, Scott. Or whatever your real name is. Come for me."

Carson groaned and stroked one, two, three more times before his was spilling over his fingers and stomach.

"God, Rod, that was..."

"Hot," Rod finished for him.

"Now I'm going to watch you come, Rod."

"Yes..." Rod stroked himself faster.

"Does your camera... I don't know... zoom in?"

"You want a close-up of my dick?"

Before Carson could answer Rod was leaning forward, and a second later the webcam was moving in a way that made Carson feel slightly queasy. But then it was settled in a new position, and Carson had a better view of Rod jacking himself off.

"That's it, Rod. Faster... Slow down... That's it... Nice and slow... Now a little faster..."

With a cry, Rod's hips jerked off the bed, thrusting up into his fist as he came. Carson watched his softening cock longingly, his fingers twitching with the urge to touch it. His eyes tracked lower, the he noticed something he hadn't before - too caught up in arousal and desire.

"Rod," he began.

"Hmm?"

He sounded so relaxed that Carson almost didn't want to ruin the moment. But he had to. "Did you know you have a lump on your left testicle?"

"I have— What?"

Rodney's fingers moved down in search of the lump.

"Up, there, that's it."

"Oh, God! Oh, God! I'm going to die!"

"Rod, listen to me."

"I've got cancer, and I'm going to die!"

" _Rod, calm down!_ " Carson demanded firmly. "A lump doesn't automatically mean cancer - it could be any number if things."

"What are you, a doctor or something?"

"Yes. And you need to see one. Soon. Promise me you'll go."

"Yes, yes. I'll make an appointment tomorrow. Oh my God... I don't want to die. Listen, thanks. For the... well, for not declining me. It was great. I hope we match again sometime, though statistically it's unlikely. And, uh, thanks for telling me about..." He gestured at his genitals. "Um, bye."

Carson stared at the blank space where Rod had been broadcasting for some time after he'd gone, replaying the panic in his voice and wondering if he'd ever be able to find out if the man would be okay.


	2. Chapter 2

" _Please_ , Carson!"

"Jennifer, I have enough of my own patients tae see without seeing one of yours."

"Last week he came in with a _splinter_ and claimed he was dying. He's probably a really nice guy, but as a patient he's just so _annoying_. I'll take Mr Wraith off your hands."

At this, Carson finally gave her his full attention. Todd Wraith was an unpleasant man at the best of times, born with a terrible genetic condition that affected his appearance. "You really are desperate tae be rid of him, aren't you?"

" _Yes_. He takes hypochondria to a whole new level and, to be honest, he makes me feel uncomfortable. I think he's _trying_ to flirt, but he just comes across as a sexist sleaze."

Carson relented. "Fine. But in the future, if you _start_ with the fact he makes you feel uncomfortable, you won't have tae resort tae begging."

" _Thank you_ , Carson."

His eyes widened as she handed him a very large file. "Hypochondriac, you say?"

"The worst I've ever seen."

_Guid Lord..._

* * *

"Meredith McKay to Room 4. Meredith McKay to Room 4. Dr Beckett will see you now."

Carson could hear the PA from his room, and quickly scanned through the most recent entries in Mr McKay's file.

"Where's Dr Keller?" his patient asked as soon as he walked in. "I usually see her."

"I'm afraid I've had tae take over some of Dr Keller's patients," he lied smoothly. "I hope that's alright?"

"Yes, yes. You are familiar with my history, aren't you?"

"You're most recent history, aye."

"I'm deathly allergic to citrus."

Carson blinked twice. "I'll bear that in mind, Mr McKay."

"Doctor."

"Yes?"

"You called me 'Mr'. It's _Dr_ McKay."

"I'm sorry. Medicine?"

" _Real_ science. I'm an astrophysicist."

 _Jennifer hadnae been lying when she called him annoying._ "Well, _Dr_ McKay, medicine is a 'real' science, and you'd dae well tae remember that as long as you're under my care."

Dr McKay swallowed. "So, ah, no comments about voodoo, then?"

Carson narrowed his eyes. "Certainly not. Now, Dr McKay - or can I call you Meredith?"

"Certainly not," Dr McKay echoed back at him. "But you can call me Rodney. It's my middle name, and I prefer to go by that."

"Rodney, then. What brings you tae my wee clinic today?"

"Well, I was... I guess you could say _having sex_ with this guy..."

"Unprotected?"

"Ah, no, not really, no."

"Either it was or it wasn't," Carson said.

Rodney looked uncomfortable. "It was... we didn't touch each other."

"But there _was_ another man involved, yes?"

Rodney looked affronted. "Of course there was!"

Carson held his hands up in a peaceful gesture. "Alright. I just want tae make sure I have the full picture."

"Well, anyway, he noticed this lump, and..."

Rodney gestured at his crotch and Carson's mouth went dry.

"He said he was a doctor and that I should get it checked out, and I just _know_ I've got cancer but—"

"Rod?!"

His patient froze and stared at him wide-eyed. "You're... You're not... But you're Scottish!"

"Aye." Carson cleared his throat and put on an American accent. "Most of the time."

"Oh, God," Rodney said weakly. "You... You're... Scott."

"Aye."

"You're Scott. Scottish. Scott is because... You're Scottish."

"Aye. It's Carson, normally."

"Oh, God."

"Would it make you more comfortable if I asked another doctor tae take a look at you?"

Rodney let out a hysterical laugh. "You've already seen me! Why should it matter if you see me again?"

"Well, then, Rod - Rodney," he corrected himself, "if you'd just like tae get undressed behind the curtain and I'll be with you in a minute."

"I bet you're wondering how many aliases I have," Rodney said as he got undressed.

"Not really, no."

"I haven't gone by Meredith since I was eight years old and got beaten up at school for being gay. I denied it at the time, of course. Turned out they were right."

"That's terrible. I'm sorry you had tae go through that."

"It only got worse when I _did_ come out, but I've since learned it's better to keep my mouth shut and flirt with women to fit in. I might have hit on Dr Keller a bit too heavily sometimes. But you never know how people will react, do you?"

"Aye, you do have to be careful," Carson agreed. "But Dr Keller's very open-minded."

"Anyway, I go by Rodney because it's my middle name but, ah, the other night... I wasn't expecting you to ask me for a name. I thought 'Rod' sounded cooler."

"I think you're more suited to Rodney than Rod, if you don't mind me saying," he said, pulling back the curtain when the sound of rustling clothing had stopped. "It was the left testicle, wasn't it?"

"Uh, yeah. I wasn't expecting you to remember."

"I'm a doctor. Just because I wasn't _your_ doctor the other day, doesn't mean I wasn't concerned." With a gloved hand he carefully poked at the lump. "Does that hurt?"

"No. It's cancer, isn't it?"

"I don't know yet. As I said on on the website, there _are_ other things it could be."

"Yeah? Name one of them."

"A cyst."

Rodney pressed his lips together as Carson continued his examination. "You know, when I imagined your hands on me, this wasn't quite what I had in mind."

Carson chuckled. "I know what you mean. Alright, I'm going to close the curtains, turn off the lights, and perform a transillumination test."

"What's that?"

"If you'd let me finish explaining, I'd tell you."

"Sorry. I did tell you I was annoying, didn't I?"

"You did. Now, a transillumination test is where I shine a light through your testicle to see what's going on inside."

"You can do that?!"

"Aye. Now lie back, please."

A moment later the room was in darkness, save for the small light beside Rodney's testicle.

"You now I'm not normally into medical roleplay," Rodney rambled as cock started to take an interest in proceedings.

"It's a totally normal reaction, Rodney. Don't worry about it."

"Oh, so it's normal for you to talk a man through his masturbation and then poke at the genitals in a professional capacity, is it? Because I don't know about you, but that's what _I'm_ thinking about!"

"That's what I was trying _not_ to think about." Carson turned the lights on again.

"Well? Am I dying?"

"No. You have what we call a spermatocele, which is where sperm pools in the epididymis. Now, we have no idea what causes it, but it is perfectly treatable."

"Is that cancerous? Because I'm losing enough of my hair without having chemo—"

"Rodney, _you do not have cancer_ ," he told his patient firmly. Opening a drawer he pulled out a sealed packet, which he opened to reveal a syringe. "I'm going tae drain some of the fluid out, and prescribe you some antibiotics. You should be absolutely fine."

"You mean you're going to poke that needle in me... in my..."

"Yes."

Rodney whined unhappily as Carson eased the needle into the build-up of fluid gathered in his testicle. "You know, I think I'll add some medical info to the site. It'd be good if people had a reminder to check themselves when their hands are already in the area. Though I suppose it would be a bit of a turn-off... ' _Cancer is not your masturmate!_ '"

Carson snorted, trying to hold his hands steady until his laughter ebbed. "You might want tae hold off on the jokes while I have a needle in your testicle."

"Yes. Right. Good idea."

Then Rodney's words sank in. "Wait, _you'd_ add it to the site?"

"Yes."

"I thought you were an astrophysicist?"

"I am. But computer programming and website building are hobbies of mine, and I decided to put my skills to good use."

"So you—"

"Created and run Masturmate, yeah."

"And I asked you what kind of a person comes up with such a concept," Carson recalled with embarrassment.

"You thought I'd memorised the advertising."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I am a very busy, very _lonely_ man, who is very bad with people."

"I might have found you a little annoying when you came in today, but you're not that bad."

"You're the only one who thinks so, then. Oh, are you done?" he asked as Carson held the needle up.

"Aye."

Rodney pulled a disgusted face when he saw the whitish, cloudy fluid the syringe contained. "That was _inside_ me?!"

"Aye."

"So I'm not going to die?"

"Not from this, anyway."

"Good. So, uh, what are the chances you'll be back on Masturmate?"

Carson raised his eyebrows in surprise.

"Ah, for customer research purposes, of course."

"I cancelled my free trial."

"Oh. Can I ask why?"

"I only tried it because I was curious. I shouldn't have even seen the ad anyway, if my adblocker was doing it's job."

Rodney smirked, and pulled his shirt wider open to reveal the t-shirt underneath that read, 'I'm with genius' - an arrow above pointing to himself. "Adblockers are surprisingly easy to get around."

Carson let out an exasperated chuckle. "Well, it was certainly an enjoyable experience - though that was more tae do with the _person_ than the platform, So, when I was told I was statistically unlikely tae match with him again... I saw little point in paying for the service."

Rodney bolted upright and snapped his fingers several times, pointing at Carson as inspiration hit. "What if you could friend users, and keep a list of Masturmates you'd like to masturbate with again? Oh, I need to get home and start working on this..."

"You might want to put your pants back on, first."

"Right. Yes, yes..." Rodney grabbed his clothes and started getting dressed. "But this could be really good. Sort of like a social media aspect. I said it wasn't a dating site, but maybe it _could_ be. Unofficially, of course..." He froze, one leg in and one leg out of his jeans. "Wait, you wanted to match with me again?"

Carson smiled, a faint flush colouring his cheeks. "Aye."

"Huh." He resumed dressing. "I guess you really didn't find me annoying after all."

"No."

"So, ah, what if I asked if you wanted to go for a drink?"

"I'd have tae decline."

Rodney's face fell. "Oh."

"I _am_ your doctor, after all. But, if you promise tae stop flirting with Dr Keller, I might be able tae persuade her tae take you back as a patient."

"Deal. So what time do you finish tonight?"

Thinking about the man's earlier enthusiasm for Masturmate, Carson asked, "Why do I have the feeling you're going tae be very busy tonight?"

"Hmm? Oh, yes! The site! Tomorrow, then?"

"Aye. Tomorrow. Leave me your number so I can get in touch with you."

"Can't you just take it out of my file?"

"That would be unethical."

"Even if you had my permission?"

"Aye."

"Oh, fine," he said, pulling out a business card. "Give me a pen." Rodney's fingers snapped again when Carson wasn't quick enough to put a pen in his hand. A few scribbles later, he exchanged a business card with his personal number scrawled across the top for his prescription. "Right, there you go. So, tomorrow, then?"

"Providing you're no longer my patient by then, aye."

"So it would be unethical for me to kiss you right now, then? Just in case I am?"

Carson chuckled. "It would be unethical for _me_ to kiss _you_."

"Right." Rodney lowered his head and pressed a chaste, lingering kiss to Carson's mouth. "Hopefully I get to use my mouth on _other_ parts of you..." His eyes raked down Carson's body, stopping at the slight tent in his pants. "...tomorrow."

Carson watched him leave, a dazed expression on his face. "Tomorrow," he echoed.


End file.
